Greetings friends! Jonathan has done it again! What, no, no, not that! Yeesh! No, Jonathan has uncovered a greater dimension in the Terrible Turtle Conspiracy –while he was at the zoo no less. (This just shows you how important he takes this whole turtle business. Even on his leisurely days in the zoo – in January – he is still keeping an open ear!)
What is this Terrible Turtle Conspiracy? It’s a terrible plot devised by evil turtles to, uh, take over the world I guess. It’s not like we’re in the know. I mean, we’re not conspiring with the turtles, unlike SOME people. And you won’t believe who I’m talking about because it is none other than…
Yes! It is Carolyn Cason, otherwise known as “The Mighty Ed”. See, that should have given us all a clue. Anyone who uses the word mighty in their super sly alias is obviously up to something! But who knew she was helping the turtles – and with grammar no less!
Now we know what we’re up against: good grammar! That’s right! The time has come to thwart these evil turtle plans, and we can do that by misinforming those creatures of a cold blooded persuasion! So, the next time your turtle says, “I will have no mercy on you!” Be sure to “correct” him with the following sentence, “I ain’t got no mercy on you!”
Together, we can overcome this!
Carolyn Cason is a grammar guru, a freelance editor, and just all around fun.
*Participants in the Terrible Turtle Conspiracy actually AGREED to be manga-nized by Jo and have their personalities mangled by Jonathan. Bribery may have been involved, but we’re not telling.